Soup with avocado cream

Of late, I have been going through a rough patch. I have become very slow, as if somebody pushed the button on the remote for a speed of 0.2x from x; an unexplained lack of interest in everything I do and lack of motivation to do things that apparently I loved to do; I have stopped dropping comments on my favorite blogs, I have posted fewer recipes; The kitchen is a mess, the living room resembles an earthquake zone, but I do not have the energy to clean up or brighten things. The days look long and I am just looking for my hour to shut down and snooze. Then I wake at unearthly hour and try to kill time counting sheep and imagining weird things. Sometimes I feel so tried and so long to be alone that Sunny boy ends up watching cartoons for hours. I get irritated for no apparent reason, crying and loosing my temper for little things. I have been wondering for a while as what could be wrong with me. PMS? come on those dont last for months. Postpartum hormones? hey my baby is two and a half! Then I started considering menopause...but barely thirty and menopause did not fit in either. But that was the strongest suspect. Otherwise, why would I, a very enthusiastic person, who had all the time in the world for everything she liked/wanted, who's best friend was sunshine, and who signed up for motherhood after carefully weighing in all the options and of course brought up in the best of traditions and educated and modern for god sake, act like a psychopath portrayed in the movies? monster-like one minute and terribly sorry and full of self-pity and crying the other? I could see something just was not right, I was not being my own reasonable self. I could not subject my actions to any logic and I could not explain my own behavior to myself. This had never happened to me before. How can 'I' ..'I' of all the people in the world act unreasonably?
Despite knowing that something was wrong, I never bothered to seek help. I still have not, but at least now, I guess I know what could be wrong.

It was just a matter of chance. I was speaking to my  friend the other day, she started telling me her experiences after weaning. The story could have been mine. Everything started with me weaning Sunny boy. I had nursed him till he was very well past two. I felt ready to call it a day, I felt he was ready to call it a day too. We did it and it was not painful at all. There was no crying, no protesting nothing. It was one fine day and we both decided that nursing was beyond us and we could do well with just hugs and kisses. Sunny boy is doing very well indeed. (The only day Sunny boy demanded to nurse was at the ER with a cashew stuck way up in his nose and waiting for the doctor to pull it out. That story for another day). That was it, else that is what I thought.

But that is where the trouble began. While nursing, a mother's mood gets a lift because of all the good hormones Oxytocin and Prolactin. When the mother starts weaning, there is a gradual drop in the levels of these hormones and then bingo postpartum depression hits you when you cannot even imagine. Hey no body told me about this one. My doctor kept asking me if I am feeling blue soon after delivery. Well I was slightly sleep deprived but with my beautiful baby in my hands and all the good hormones baby sitting my nervous why would I feel blue? I was on the top of the world. She never told me when I can expect it to kick me,it did at a time when I was least expecting it. Well, you act up when you are pregnant, people are sympathetic, 'oh! poor gal,I know pregnancy can  be hard'..your baby bump justifies everything. Then when your baby is young and nursing, you act up and people are still sympathetic,'poor gal, she is sleep deprived, good work gal, keep up with the good work'..... the baby at your breast justifies everything. But once the baby talks and walks, there is absolutely no sympathy. 'Hey! what is wrong with you? are you crazy' is all you get, when actually your nervous are being whacked by the dancing hormones.

What is surprising is the fact that despite all the advances in the modern medicine, there are these unspoken, un-highlighted areas which can catch well meaning, educated and well informed women like me unguarded. Now that I know what could be wrong, I am better equipped to handle myself. If only my doctor gave me a heads up on this one. It is also surprising that such a big problem is still not mainstream, there are not many researches on this one and not many resources to help one cope up. So friends, if you are there like me, hang in there and this too will pass.

Here is a soul warming soup recipe made during one of my down days.

For the soup

Carrots 1 cup chopped
Mushrooms 2 cups  chopped
Chickpeas cooked 1 cup
Vegetable broth or chicken stock 2 cups
Extra virgin olive oil 1tbsp
Garlic 1 clove smashed
Salt and pepper to taste.

For the avocado cream

Ripe Avocado 1
Green chillies 1-2 minced
Juice of half a lemon
Fresh coriander
Salt to taste

Method:

• Heat oil in a stock pot. Saute the garlic for a few seconds.Throw in the carrots and mushrooms. Cook till they are tender but crisp. 
• Throw in the rest of the ingredients and  two more cups of water and simmer for a few minutes till everything comes together about 15minutes.
• Prepare the avocado cream in the mean time. Scoop the avocado from the skin, discard the seed and the skin. Place the flesh in a bowl and mash it with the back of a fork. Throw in the remaining ingredients.
• To serve, ladle the soup into a bowl and place a dollop of avocado cream on top and serve it right away.